Presbyterians’ [Fn1] new hit single, “Give me an AV”[Fn2] (tune)
Hey over there
Please forgive me
If I like the good “King Jim”[Fn3]
Hate to stare
At your Bible
While they play my favorite hymn[Fn4]
So come here
‘Little closer
Wanna whisper in your ear
Make it clear
Little question
Wanna know just how you feel
If I said I miss my “thees” and “thous”
If we could escape the crowd[Fn5] somehow
If I said I want your Bible now
Would you give me an AV?
Cause it speaks of paradise
And I need a translation tonight[Fn6]
So if I said I want your Bible now
Would you give me an AV?
Hey you might think
That I’m crazy[Fn7]
But you know it sounds just right
I might be ‘little hazy[Fn8]
But you just cannot deny
There’s a book inbetween us
When we hear the preacher preach
I want more
Wanna see it
So I’m asking you tonight
If I said I miss my “thees” and “thous”
If we could escape the crowd somehow
If I said I want your Bible now
Would you give me an AV?
Cause it speaks of paradise
And I need a translation tonight
So if I said I want your Bible now
Would you give me an AV?
[Spoken]
If I said I want your Bible
Would you give me an AV??
(Yeah) (Uh huh) (Oh)
Gimme something good
Don’t wanna wait I need to read (na-na-neat)
Read it like you should
And show me how you exegete[Fn9]
(Alright)
If I said I miss my “thees” and “thous”
If I said I want your Bible now
Would you give me an AV?
If I said I miss my “thees” and “thous”
If we could escape the crowd somehow
If I said I want your Bible now
Would you give me an AV?
Cause it speaks of paradise
And I need a translation tonight
So if I said I want your Bible now
Would you give me an AV?[Fn10]
- “Presbyterians” is an anagram of Britney Spears, the singer whose song (“Hold it Against Me”) is being parodied.
- AV is an abbreviation for the “Authorized Version” also known as the King James Version, which is celebrating its 400th anniversary this year.
- I don’t know anyone who actually refers to their King James Bible as “King Jim,” but they could!
- I don’t actually endorse hymns of merely human composition, but “King Joms” to rhyme with “Psalms” was even more of a stretch.
- The crowd of modern translations, of course: NASB, ESV, NKJV, Message, Living Bible, Amplified Bible, HCSB, etc.
- After the Sunday evening worship service, or perhaps after the mandatory (see Hezekiah 3:16) Wednesday night Bible study.
- And not just because I turned a Britney Spears’ song into a song about the King James Bible.
- Hazy from trying to wade through all 15 of the archaic words found in the book.
- You knew it was coming.
- I hope this has been “relevant” enough for you.